Management exam
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional manager. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
!
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting World-wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.
Management Exam (true)
Moderator: andysfootball
I remember these wanky, b*llshit "logic" exercises where the answer can be any cockamamie bollocks the questioner decides...I know this is meant to be a p*ss take but this is the kind of crap they ask...post modern garbage.
Hence why chose to major in economics and finance.
The quantification of entreprenueialism will probably save management science from becoming a complete and utter joke. See the "Delta Project", a great book about business analysis and competitive strategy.
Hence why chose to major in economics and finance.
The quantification of entreprenueialism will probably save management science from becoming a complete and utter joke. See the "Delta Project", a great book about business analysis and competitive strategy.
Insulus cruentam atque bella. Si pugnaverunt eleutheria toties vis bello itidem vel libertatibus conservare autem?
Ad liberandum aliis fieri liberior.
Ad liberandum aliis fieri liberior.
Q. Whats more difficult than trying to get a pregnant elephant into a fridge?
A. Trying to get an elephant pregnant in a fridge.....
A. Trying to get an elephant pregnant in a fridge.....
When designing something completely foolproof, the designers seldom take account of the inginuity of complete fools !
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Cogito Ergo Doleo
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Cogito Ergo Doleo
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sherri
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- Location: Melbourne Australia
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Now we know what the problem is with a lot of professional managers.
They won't admit that some things just can't be done and are a work of fantasy.
The correct answer of course was-you have to chop the giraffe up first into little pieces before it will go in that fridge and even then, one fridge won't be enough. And your giraffe will be dead.
Plus you will have wasted most of the giraffe unless you eat it fast, so you really should have put most of it into a freezer instead of a fridge, stored away for a 'rainy day'.
There you are. I have solved the problem. Now send thru that professional manager's wage asap.
They won't admit that some things just can't be done and are a work of fantasy.
The correct answer of course was-you have to chop the giraffe up first into little pieces before it will go in that fridge and even then, one fridge won't be enough. And your giraffe will be dead.
Plus you will have wasted most of the giraffe unless you eat it fast, so you really should have put most of it into a freezer instead of a fridge, stored away for a 'rainy day'.
There you are. I have solved the problem. Now send thru that professional manager's wage asap.
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Barney
- Full Time Gobber
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- Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 4:48 am
- Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I'm a manager, and I got 1/4. I got the last one right, as I'm used to swimming with crocodiles at meetings!
While some of these so called personality and aptitude tests can be valid, it's my experience that all they really tend to show is how many people get paid for wasting their time thinking up this cr*p! And that the majority of these are being used for ulterior motives, such as getting trapped by cults!!
While some of these so called personality and aptitude tests can be valid, it's my experience that all they really tend to show is how many people get paid for wasting their time thinking up this cr*p! And that the majority of these are being used for ulterior motives, such as getting trapped by cults!!
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Axeman
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- Location: Northumberland
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When I was at Tyne Brewery working in Logistics, the company decided to put us all on a MAGIC course.
Cost a bloody fortune in a hotel opposite Central Station.
The magic within us, paradigms and think outside the box stuff.
What a load of bollocks !
Should of stuck to the old system of having apprentices learning from the old timers and passing it all on generation to generation.
Scrapped the apprentices or ( office juniors ) and now it's all taught by university or college where nobody has had any good hands on experience.
We've lost a wealth of knowledge and will be in the crap long term.
Whinge over.
Cost a bloody fortune in a hotel opposite Central Station.
The magic within us, paradigms and think outside the box stuff.
What a load of bollocks !
Should of stuck to the old system of having apprentices learning from the old timers and passing it all on generation to generation.
Scrapped the apprentices or ( office juniors ) and now it's all taught by university or college where nobody has had any good hands on experience.
We've lost a wealth of knowledge and will be in the crap long term.
Whinge over.
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Globalmyths
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- Location: Milford North Shore City Auckland New Zealand.
post topic
I got them all right. only because I have seen this old joke before.
only because I have seen this old joke before.I agree. A good system even for most university qualified jobs, and I would like to see more systematisation of management disciplines as well. Some quantitative analysis to beat the s**t out of the fluff.Axeman wrote:When I was at Tyne Brewery working in Logistics, the company decided to put us all on a MAGIC course.
Cost a bloody fortune in a hotel opposite Central Station.
The magic within us, paradigms and think outside the box stuff.
What a load of bollocks !
Should of stuck to the old system of having apprentices learning from the old timers and passing it all on generation to generation.
Scrapped the apprentices or ( office juniors ) and now it's all taught by university or college where nobody has had any good hands on experience.
We've lost a wealth of knowledge and will be in the crap long term.
Whinge over.
Insulus cruentam atque bella. Si pugnaverunt eleutheria toties vis bello itidem vel libertatibus conservare autem?
Ad liberandum aliis fieri liberior.
Ad liberandum aliis fieri liberior.
