Ministry of Health,'Bird Flu' Bulletin

malrap · Post by **malrap** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 12:06 am

The Ministry today,advised the likely symptoms ,which may occur if you are unlucky enough to be infected:-
Migraine headaches,shivering and sweating alternately,clammy skin,occasional vomiting,variations in blood pressure,depression,easily losing patience and inability to concentate,you may also have a tendency to crap on windshields.

Knowledge is Power
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baldy.smith · Post by **baldy.smith** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 12:14 am

I must have been suffering from it for years, I have all of those symptoms except the last.

curly · Post by **curly** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 1:53 am

Further symptoms include waking up each morning in a flap and feeling peckish

baldy.smith · Post by **baldy.smith** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 1:55 am

Oh dear! Curly has caught a dose of Globalitis.

memor · Post by **memor** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:53 pm

Ernesto (dodgy son) he has cornered the market in bird seed.

Dont ask I not know why. Hall is full of boxes marked "Trill."

Gregor (idiot son) keeps saying "Who's a pretty boy then ?"

After lots of shouts "NOT YOU." we give in and completely ignore him.

It not stop him from saying it though. I see other children muttering in corner.

I think they plan to do away with him.

Usually this time of year all children as nice as pie (Santa not come if they naughty)

This year niceness gone out the window.

I think someones tipped them off that there is no Santa.

Still we had good run for fourteen years.

If naughtiness go on I tell them straight.

"What you getting Mamma and Pappa for Christmas."

Its about time they put their hands in pockets.

I already started to prime them. "Its better to give than to receieve." I keep saying.