PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS

[Alice]

recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer’s personality on what drinks they ordered?
Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
IF WOMEN DRINK ...

BEER
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink.

WATER
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don’t.

WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in.

CAPE VELVET
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......

IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)
CIDER
He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He’s poor / student and wants to get laid.

CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

IMPORTED BEER
He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

GUINNESS
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid

WINE
He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely h*rny hound, would s**g a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT
Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKY
He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JACK DANIELS
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

[johnc10]

[StottieCake]

=D> =D>

[brian c]

Youre point being?

[baldy.smith]

Mines usually a pint with a pickled onion in it.

[Alice]

My point being read the men's and see what is on your minds all the time.

[little_tata]

[Alice]

Oh i forgot about the football on your minds to.

[margy]

[bamboo]

i still havent stopped laughing,
i drink guinness and vodka

[sless]

me aswell

[Globalmyths]

Nevertheless I found there was no mention of people like me who are addicted to chocolate milk. Because I drink it and for some strange reason I dont ever get a chance or opportunity to get laid.

[Scrappy]

Ha ha ha very good..

[jimmywizz]

this is me fav drink
http://www.canadacool.com/COOLFACTS/YUK ... urToe.html

[Bushmermaid]

Well I'm a female beer drinker and the description suits me to a tee.

[Globalmyths]

Tried Rum and cloves after I joined the army sometime in the late 50's or early 60's I drunk the whole glass, but decided I didn't like spirits and never had one since. I used to like a glass of sweet wine during a meal.
And I will have a beer now when I am in a restaurant with my meal and the last time was in Jan. 2007. and haven't had any form of alcohol since.

I must find a nice lady to take to dinner so I can wine and dine her. Well I need an excuse so I can have another beer its been a long time between drinks. Carol and I used to go out to restaurants a lot before she got sick.

[Alice]

I drink beer/lager but cannot play pool.

[wong]

MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink.

Usually I drink vodka and orange. Sounds about right.



BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in.


I like the odd smirnoff ice!!!!!!where did they find these silly barmen..
Sooo not right!!!!!
I can play pool too , but I hate beer.

[Globalmyths]

Bringing this post up to date I went grocery shopping today but once there I decided to have lunch first, and little old me had a beer with my meal. I had a Curried chicken pie in a pot with rice. Very nice it was.

[Ugly Betty]

Wait, let me get this straight, Global: You had lunch at the grocery store and they served beer and chicken pot pie? All I get served at my grocery store is the bill.