Coffee Enema!!!!!Colonic Irrigation!!!!!Gazette Advert

Ugly Betty · Post by **Ugly Betty** » Sat May 26, 2007 9:22 pm

I'm not a big red meat eater either, Rosie, but I think they were referring to the cumulative effect over a lifetime. Some foods apparently like to take up residence.

Jarrow Pete · Post by **Jarrow Pete** » Sat May 26, 2007 10:11 pm

Pilot wrote:maybe you are just more used to poking things up your bum than me Northern

The a*sehole is doing exactly what Babs did, replys to a post, then deletes the reply to make it appear that the original poster is s**t stirring.
Do we need crybabys,liars and devious persons like this on the boards?

Jerry · Post by **Jerry** » Sat May 26, 2007 10:26 pm

Yes, an endoscope is often defined as a metal tube with an a*sehole at each end.

Why this sudden kerfuffle about colonic irrigation? Doesn't anyone remember the Ruby Wax car adverts years ago when her car took her swifty away from a lady with a hosepipe? It hit the headlines here when Sarah Ferguson (a believer of course) was first going out with Prince Andrew.

Food generally clears the pipe system in 18-24 hours, but if it becomes hard and impacted, you are constipated - and people have been squirting water and herbs in in since 1700 BC at least. Enemas from the district nurse are often helpful.

The idea that you have a mass of rotting matter deep in there, slowly poisoning you sounds creepily plausible but it really isn't so. It's not accepted by mainstream medicine.

If it feels good do it, but it's an expensive way to get a laxative. A few years ago it cost between £20-£50 average in the USA.

northern · Post by **northern** » Sun May 27, 2007 12:04 am

Jarrow Pete wrote:
Pilot wrote:maybe you are just more used to poking things up your bum than me Northern
The a*sehole is doing exactly what Babs did, replys to a post, then deletes the reply to make it appear that the original poster is s**t stirring.
Do we need crybabys,liars and devious persons like this on the boards?

Can one not answere without
reverting to intended foul language all the time.

sless · Post by **sless** » Sun May 27, 2007 1:18 am

i would do it
but its say £80 a shot
but you need 5 or 6 goes to get shot of the lot

princess diana loved it
but then again she loved owt with a c*ck

Axeman · Post by **Axeman** » Sun May 27, 2007 1:24 am

5ft hose !!

What happens if you are only 4ft 11in ??

sless · Post by **sless** » Sun May 27, 2007 1:30 am

you have to shove the balls in to make it up

Axeman · Post by **Axeman** » Sun May 27, 2007 1:38 am

Are you still up ??

It's 1:40am SUNDAY.......Oh I see.. Sunday..lie in day.

Axeman · Post by **Axeman** » Sun May 27, 2007 1:40 am

I'm debating ( with myself ) whether to go to bed ( cos I'm shagged ) or have another can of Grolsch.

Axeman · Post by **Axeman** » Sun May 27, 2007 1:41 am

Thats bad init.

I think I'll go to bed.

sless · Post by **sless** » Sun May 27, 2007 1:46 am

poofter
im stopping up and im fishing a competition tomorrow

Pilot · Post by **Pilot** » Sun May 27, 2007 10:40 am

Sorry Northern I couldn't judge you by my standards, you would be off the bottom of the scale.

northern · Post by **northern** » Sun May 27, 2007 12:14 pm

Pilot wrote:Sorry Northern I couldn't judge you by my standards, you would be off the bottom of the scale.

No need to say sorry to me , but thank you all the same.

Bless you , you are forgiven.

Pilot · Post by **Pilot** » Sun May 27, 2007 1:18 pm

Betty it was when I was looking a bit nervous looking at the endoscope

and the consultant smiled and said "You don't think I enjoy doing this do you?" I said "I bloody hope not, so I'll save us both an ordeal"

and I was out of there fast. Funny thing was I was instantly cured, bit like when the toothache goes as soon as you are in the dentists waiting room.

Ugly Betty · Post by **Ugly Betty** » Sun May 27, 2007 5:11 pm

Hee hee, Pilot. It was like a miracle, eh?

StottieCake · Post by **StottieCake** » Sun May 27, 2007 9:48 pm

I got suppositories from the chemist once................

for all the use they were I may as well have stuck them up me @rse

Ugly Betty · Post by **Ugly Betty** » Mon May 28, 2007 12:13 am

StottieCake wrote:I got suppositories from the chemist once................

for all the use they were I may as well have stuck them up me @rse

Stottie

sherri · Post by **sherri** » Mon May 28, 2007 10:29 pm

I knew it was a mistake to read this post while i was trying to eat breakfast and drink coffee.

Tweedlady · Post by **Tweedlady** » Tue May 29, 2007 2:32 am

Globalmyths · Post by **Globalmyths** » Tue May 29, 2007 11:10 am

A word of warning all this talk of enemas colonic irrigation think about this Depending upon the daily intake, the healthy individual in potassium balance excretes over 85% of the daily potassium intake in the urine and the remainder in your bowel motions.

And if you have to many colonic irrigations enemas laxatives you can be severly depleted of potassium which is characterised by generalised muscular weakness with paresis or flaccid paralysis and ileus. Paraesthaesiae are also frequently present with loss of memory, disorientation and mental confusion. Death can or rather may occur if potassium depletion is unrelieved. Because of these factors you should only have these washouts if and when there is an underlying medical reason to do so.

PS ileus is the obstruction of the bowel by reason of paralysis. Now you wouldn't want that would you.

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