The Man Rules

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Jarrow Pete
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The Man Rules

Post by Jarrow Pete »

Finally,the guys' side of the story.
(must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear"the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1.Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine..Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as FOOTBALL or
motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

jimmywizz

Re: The Man Rules

Post by jimmywizz »

I am in shape. Round IS a shape :lol: :lol:

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PartyGirl
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by PartyGirl »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

1. You have enough clothes.
NEVER!

1. You have too many shoes.
NEVER!

:lol: :lol:

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johnc10
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by johnc10 »

PartyGirl wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

1. You have enough clothes.
NEVER!

1. You have too many shoes.
NEVER!

:lol: :lol:

Aye... that'll be right Imelda :D
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Ugly Betty
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by Ugly Betty »

Hahaha, very good, Pete. I only have a problem with #1. :wink:

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Alice
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by Alice »

1. You have enough clothes.
NEVER!

1. You have too many shoes.
NEVER!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Agree with you Partygirl. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Life is to short to miss out,just go for it.

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PartyGirl
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by PartyGirl »

Thanks Alice!!!

John I dont have that many pairs, only about 50 pairs!! and then the 4 I have on order!!! :lol: :lol:

malaymac
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by malaymac »

PartyGirl wrote: I dont have that many pairs, only about 50 pairs!! and then the 4 I have on order!!! :lol: :lol:
now where have I heard that before ??? hum, let me think .......
usually followed by, but now I need that bag to go with these new shoes
followed by, oh, that belt would like nice ..................................

yes, yes, yes, of course my dearest/darling/sweetheart etc, ..... on those new jeans you saw in that other shop :wink: :wink:




5 minutes later .................................................... man produces wallet/credit card/cash and lives happily ever after. :D

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PartyGirl
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by PartyGirl »

Mal you have it down to a tee but you forgot the jewellery that goes with the new outfit, but then we might need some new make up and nail varnish just to finish it all off!! Dont think I have forgot anything - oh I have.

"Darling you now need to take me for a night out so I can wear all my new things"!!! Its pointless buying all those things just to sit in the wardrobe/drawers/show rack/jewellery drawer!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Scrappy
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by Scrappy »

Ugly Betty wrote:Hahaha, very good, Pete. I only have a problem with #1. :wink:
:lol: :lol: =D>
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Globalmyths
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by Globalmyths »

If this is a vote. I abstain.
How was a totally inorganic world able to create organic life? Answer it couldn't and didn't

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kitten
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by kitten »

Now that is funny Pete :lol:
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martymont
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by martymont »

Have as many clothes as you like as long as you look good and not like a sack of potatoes everything squeezed in to something 5x smaller and no whale tails :lol: :lol: :lol: XOXO

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PartyGirl
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by PartyGirl »

martymont wrote:Have as many clothes as you like as long as you look good and not like a sack of potatoes everything squeezed in to something 5x smaller and no whale tails :lol: :lol: :lol: XOXO
That is my pet hate!! I hate people, mainly women, who wear clothes that are far too small for them!!! It makes them look bigger than they are!!

Marty - whats a whales tail??

martymont
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by martymont »

Party girl look at a photo of a whale as it is diving, then said woman wearing leggings or tight jeans and the top of her thong XOXO

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PartyGirl
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by PartyGirl »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: get it now!!!!

malaymac
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by malaymac »

martymont wrote:Party girl look at a photo of a whale as it is diving, then said woman wearing leggings or tight jeans and the top of her thong XOXO

aye that's right, and Superman doesn't care who see's his Y fronts. :shock:

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Globalmyths
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Re: The Man Rules

Post by Globalmyths »

Of course superman doesn't care because who is going to be brave enough to tell him thats not good dress standards.
How was a totally inorganic world able to create organic life? Answer it couldn't and didn't

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