Making Love...For us older ones!!

malrap · Post by **malrap** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 5:17 pm

1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in
bed with you.

2. Set timer for 2 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!

4. Make sure you put 999 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed..

7. Have respirator ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

Ugly Betty · Post by **Ugly Betty** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 5:19 pm

Hahahaha, Mal.

johnc10 · Post by **johnc10** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 5:20 pm

OK..... who's been planting camera's in me bedroom

baldy.smith · Post by **baldy.smith** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 5:35 pm

marrasis wrote: you could give someone a nasty suck

there's no such thing as a "nasty" suck!

johnc10 · Post by **johnc10** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 5:39 pm

You have a wise husband then

baldy.smith · Post by **baldy.smith** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 5:43 pm

Now let's get this straight marrasis, in order to save any confusion

Which one of you is doing the sucking

johnc10 · Post by **johnc10** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 5:46 pm

malrap · Post by **malrap** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 5:55 pm

To save the messing about now,,,I have resorted to playing cards,in particular Solo...
I mean.....
You don't need
a partner if you've got a good hand!!!!!

johnc10 · Post by **johnc10** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:03 pm

Get what straight?

baldy.smith · Post by **baldy.smith** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:07 pm

I thought you were talking about having breakfast in France

Alice · Post by **Alice** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:18 pm

very good.

baldy.smith · Post by **baldy.smith** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:23 pm

malrap · Post by **malrap** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:30 pm

Baldy,
You cannot get many of them in a bread bun..

baldy.smith · Post by **baldy.smith** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:32 pm

I thought they were bread buns, "baps"

you don't get many to the lb either

Jarrow Pete · Post by **Jarrow Pete** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:40 pm

Reminds me of my favourite song of all time, The oldest swinger in town by Fred Wedlock. The two classic lines I remember, "you are only as old as the woman you feel", and "when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night long".

brian c · Post by **brian c** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:42 pm

I'm afraid I've lost the instruction book.

Tweedlady · Post by **Tweedlady** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:58 pm

YOU PEOPLE ARE HILARIOUS!!!

baldy.smith · Post by **baldy.smith** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:00 pm

brian c wrote:I'm afraid I've lost the instruction book.

I would have loaned you mine brian, but my grandad has borrowed it.

malrap · Post by **malrap** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:21 pm

Due to my eyesight failing,it was a good job she had spots on her bottom....
It was the prices in Braille...

sless · Post by **sless** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:34 pm

im not saying she was fat
but if you slapped her asre you could ride in on the ripples