0898 999 999 dial the fuzz

jimmywizz · Post by **jimmywizz** » Sat Feb 14, 2004 6:17 pm

I thought I would add my little bit about the new pay for a 999 call, I reckon it could
go like this....you ring the new number 0898 999 999 and a voice greets you saying, hi
thank you for dialling your new local police force number, this new service is brought
to you by COPS (coin operated plod service) and we would like to thank you for
choosing us as your number one emergency service, if your car has been stolen
please press 1 on your phone now, if your house has just been burgled please press 2,
if you have just been mugged please press 3, if you have just murdered your wife
please press 4, if next doors dog has just eaten your cat please press 5, and so on etc,
so on pressing 1 you now hear a new message that goes like this, hi thank you for
reporting your car stolen but at this moment in time no one is able to take your call as
all of our officers are busy at the moment (sitting in cars door toon looking at the
lasses) but please listen to this bit music (the bill theme tune) until we are ready to
take your call unless you are a resident of cleadon village then please press 9 now and
we will send 2 vans, a jam sandwich and our helicopter straight round to your house
now sir. then you get the end off message..... thank you for using COPS your message
has only cost you 35p min peak and 25p min off peak and have a nice day

Post by **hellraiser** » Sat Feb 14, 2004 9:31 pm

jimmy your starting to sound like allan

sherri · Post by **sherri** » Sun Feb 15, 2004 10:31 am

He is starting to sound like half the oz institutions when you try to ring.
Tell you what though-this may amaze you-when we ring to make a query about some of our services eg a complaint about phone charges, we get through to someone in some far flung place like Bombay. We are dealing with a foreigner to answer our questions.The charge rate for the call is local but the support services have been farmed out to other countries. You still get put on hold though...
And toy have to battle through trying to understand strange accents.

jimmywizz · Post by **jimmywizz** » Mon Feb 16, 2004 4:05 am

same here a certain bank and the rail times are going to call centers in india

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 8:58 pm

There was rumours of orange moving to the far east due to dirt cheap labour rates.
The good news is that Orange is staying in the UK unlike '3' who have a centre in bombay or somewhere. Try calling them and it takes 10mins to get through at the best of times and then a further 10mins to understand the language of the person speaking to you. They offer too good to be true service plans with stupid amounts of free mins for next to nowt but whats the point in havin all them mins when they dont have the network coverage in the uk to use them.. and sh!tty after sales support...

memor · Post by **memor** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 3:48 pm

We have watery problems here. I phone water company nice Indian lady tells me there is burst water main around the corner. She sound so convincingly I think she live here. I say "where am I phoning ." thinking maybe she in Midlands.
She say "Bombay."
You could of knocked me over with a feather.
Memor

gazza · Post by **gazza** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 9:49 pm

hey nay swet..............juzt dee revurse charge..............
nowtz tuh botha...........

padlock man · Post by **padlock man** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 6:27 pm

What do you get if you dial 666?

Three policemen standing on their heads!!

Har! Har! Har! Har!!.....

gazza · Post by **gazza** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 9:47 pm

and...........DAMIEN.........ansa`z thu phone