ENGLISH LANGUAGE

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Tweedlady
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ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Tweedlady » Mon Feb 11, 2013 8:07 am

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. :shock: #-o #-o #-o

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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Gatchie » Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:39 am

Yep,Tweedy,

it's a funny old thing.

But it's a good job me and the others reading this post know what you are on about!

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Tweedlady
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Tweedlady » Tue Feb 12, 2013 3:16 am

?

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Tweedlady
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Tweedlady » Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:17 am

I Believe....
That our background and circumstances
May have influenced who we are, but,
We are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.


I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
And what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
Do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about
Most in life are taken from you too soon.

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Barney
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Barney » Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:43 pm

LOL!

I try to believe three impossible things a day!! All in English, of course!!

We drive on a parkway, and park in a driveway!!
Maturity is over-rated, and not half-as-much fun as immaturity!
The Wild Witch-Wizard of Whiteleas
Was a changeling's son from Mars.
He learnt his songs
From the Cosmic Throngs
And played them on a Fender guitar - Oh yeah.

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Tweedlady
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Tweedlady » Sun Feb 17, 2013 7:24 am

:) :) :)

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Pilot
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Pilot » Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:37 pm

I visited hospital the other day and sat patiently playing patience with a patient !
I voted leave

Image

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StottieCake
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by StottieCake » Sun Feb 17, 2013 6:51 pm

Flammable or inflammable? :?

Blood rhymes with mud and
Food rhymes with dude

:lol:

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Mr Smith
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Mr Smith » Sun Feb 17, 2013 7:42 pm

StottieCake wrote:Flammable or inflammable? :?

Blood rhymes with mud and
Food rhymes with dude

:lol:
If you're from Sunderland mud rhymes with food :D
Wise man talk because they have something to say,
fools talk because they have to say something.

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Tweedlady
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Tweedlady » Tue Feb 19, 2013 6:40 am

ANY MORE????

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Globalmyths
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Globalmyths » Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:26 pm

Tweedlady wrote:ANY MORE????
More or less.
How was a totally inorganic world able to create organic life? Answer it couldn't and didn't

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Tweedlady
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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Tweedlady » Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:21 pm

:?:

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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by Jarrow Pete » Thu Feb 28, 2013 12:31 am

I went to cut some wood with my saw,as I had a sore thumb on my right hand I had to use my left hand to use the saw, I glanced up and saw a balloon soar up into the sky.

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Re: ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Post by andysfootball » Thu Feb 28, 2013 12:14 pm

i was using a jigsaw to cut up peices of wood for a jigsaw

my wife saw that my hands were sore as cutting all of the jigsaw peices with the jigsaw had made them sore

would i like some relief from the wood sawing she asked

i saw that she cared and my blood pressure was soaring as i was sawing

so my jigsaw never completed my jigsaw
STAY CALM AND SANDDANCE ON

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