You may speak it but can't shoot it.

[max Headroom]

Businessman burgled after being banned from using giant catapult
An eccentric businessman who set up a 30ft dung-firing catapult on his land to deter intruders has been burgled after police warned him that it would be illegal for him to use the weapon.

By John Bingham
Last Updated: 11:23AM BST 16 Apr 2009

Businessman Joe Weston-Webb, who set up a giant dung-firing catapult to protect his property from burglars but was told by police that he would be prosecuted if he ever fired it.
Joe Weston-Webb, a former travelling showman who also owns a human cannon and an "exploding coffin", decided to adopt such an unorthodox method of protecting his property last year after a series of break-ins and an arson attack.

The catapult, based on the design of a Roman boulder-throwing ballista, was originally built for a series of unsuccessful attempts to fire his wife, Mary, across the River Avon in 1976 during a colourful career as a stuntman. He gave up after one attempt in which she made it to the opposite bank only to be bounced back into the river by a safety net.




But following a series of attacks by vandals on his company, Grumpy Joe, in Ratcliffe-on-Soar, Notts, he restored the rusty catapult and equipped it to fire bags of chicken droppings at intruders if an alarm was triggered.

He also spoke of loading his cannon with railway sleepers or adapting it to work like a laser gun.

His eccentric methods attracted media attention as well as a warning from Nottinghamshire Police that using the giant catapult would be illegal as it did not constitute "reasonable force".

But now his business had been targeted by thieves again.

Burglars vandalised his workshop and stole cutting equipment, a plasma screen television and a laptop among other goods during the break-in on Monday night.

Mr Weston-Webb estimates that the combined bill for damage and stolen property could amount to £10,000.

He said that his private CCTV cameras picked up a figure entering the premises at about 11.15pm but the catapult was not primed following the police warning.

"It is ridiculous that we are in this situation now in which we can't defend ourselves," he said.

He is now threatening to ignore the warning and reactivate the catapult in the face of what he believes is a vendetta.

"We've seen where listening to them gets you," he said.

"They warned me off, and the result is that my business has been smashed to bits by yobs."

The 71-year-old, who claims to have been educated at Harrow School, ran a string of businesses before setting himself up as a travelling showman, organising increasingly daring stunts which made him into a minor celebrity with appearances on television programmes and advertisements.

But a plan to get a man to wrestle a crocodile underwater earned him a fine for animal cruelty after the terrified animal escaped from its tank and his first attempt at constructing a human cannon ended in humiliation when it exploded at a press launch.

The exploding coffin – designed to blow itself into the air – was also a disappointment after it failed to take off.

Since setting up his flooring business he has continued to organise eccentric entertainments, including goldfish racing and flea jumping contests, to help "bored" staff pass the time.

A spokesman for Nottinghamshire Police said: "The law allows homeowners to protect themselves and their property with reasonable force if they are under threat from an intruder.

"However the reasonable force must be proportionate to the threat.

"The setting up of booby traps is outside the scope of the law and is something Nottinghamshire Police would advise against."

[malaymac]

I really get seriously peed off over this reasonable force argument.

If someone comes onto your property or worse inside your house with the intention of stealing your property, with or without using violent force,
to me that's good enough reason to do whatever you're capable of when defending your family and home.

That's just tough SH one T if the low life get hurt during proceedings
And it's about time the court's made it ok to 'just do it'

[max Headroom]

I't seems most unreasonable, a most nasty thing to do, imagine this massive turd machine dumping poo on people, if one wants justice one must use the court system.

[Globalmyths]

I have heard from several sources that during either the first or second world war that either Australian, or New Zealand troops captured this Italian gun and they used it to fire all sorts of rubbish, kitchen, toilet etc. into the German lines.

[sherri]

I't seems most unreasonable, a most nasty thing to do, imagine this massive turd machine dumping poo on people, if one wants justice one must use the court system.

Somehow I sort of hope the man does prime his machine and it scores a hit next time intruders try to get into his store.
I am trying to imagine if the intruder would try to sue (knowing the law, and the cheek of these people, the answer is probably yes) but it would create quite a bit of worldwide publicity I would think and the thief might get a nice long sentence at least.

[memor]

Well !!!

you know what they say about chicken shi t.

Apart fron chickens shi t it.

It also makes your hair grow.

My Uncle wore a chicken s**t poultice for six months.

All his hair grew back but he lost all his friends to show his mane off too.