Old wise Sayings

Alice · Post by **Alice** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 7:57 pm

Old Wise Sayings

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Experience is the sinking feeling you have made this mistake before.

Never miss a good chance to shut up

anna · Post by **anna** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 8:56 pm

there are some good ones there Alice.

i will add one to your list, maybe everybody else will too. Them without Sin, Cast the first Stone.

malrap · Post by **malrap** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:21 am

Marriage is not to someone you want to live with...but to someone you can't live without.

The future tense of 'courting' is 'caught'

baldy.smith · Post by **baldy.smith** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 11:06 am

The wise girl, sits on jockeys knee for hot tip

brian c · Post by **brian c** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 12:42 pm

Confucious say

"Rape is immpossible"

"Woman with skirt up can run faster than man with trousers down"

anna · Post by **anna** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:05 pm

Better The Devil you Know ,Than The Devil you Dont..

memor · Post by **memor** » Fri Mar 09, 2007 7:46 pm

When I was little boy GrandMama Maplin would say.

"Memor put your tadger away the horse will get jealous."

This really put Family in quandary.

Firstly they all look at my nether regions to see if it true.

When they see It not true they look at Granny and wonder what she on about.

Then they look at me again as if to say. "Did you have your tadger out when no one was about and Granny catch you??"

Then they look away not looking at anyone in case they all start to laugh.

It was soon after that, that we had Granny committed.

Happy Days.

star · Post by **star** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 1:32 am

These are great!

I would like to add,

A regret is not a regret until its too late.

and

You don't know what you have got until it is gone.

bluekats · Post by **bluekats** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 2:13 am

I want to live my next life backwards:

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for High

School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no

responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then..

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like

conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then..............

You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

anna · Post by **anna** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:54 am

Blue..

sherri · Post by **sherri** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:34 pm

Blue also

Babooshka · Post by **Babooshka** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:59 pm

'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'

memor · Post by **memor** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 11:06 pm

Bluekats

Why you have to start partying when you teenager.

Start as soon as you in Retirement home.

You only stop when teeny ager because some big clot tells you to.

Enjoy.

g0var · Post by **g0var** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:53 am

If you can keep your head, while all around you are loosing theirs,

you probably dont understand how serious the situation is and are over qualified for a cabinet post under Tony Blair...

g0var · Post by **g0var** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:55 am

if you dont drink
and you dont smoke
and you dont go out with strange women...

you wont live to be a hundred, it will just feel like it!!!

jarrajock · Post by **jarrajock** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:55 am

dont sh*t in your own garden

g0var · Post by **g0var** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:56 am

If God didnt want us to eat meat...

.. why did he make animals out if it????????

brian c · Post by **brian c** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:06 pm

If I was meant to walk why did god give me a driving licence.

Pilot · Post by **Pilot** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:45 pm

Sign it say "Do not pluck the blossoms" but it is useless for the wind it cannot read.

marrasis · Post by **marrasis** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:48 pm

Friday nights dream,

On a saturday told,

Will come true,

No matter how old.