Search found 97 matches

by malrap
Wed May 23, 2007 5:04 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: If you're religious,but humourless,DO NOT READ!!
Replies: 4
Views: 1002

If you're religious,but humourless,DO NOT READ!!

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our daily lives. But have you ever wondered what it would be if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following: Thank you for calling Heaven. For English, press 1. For Spanish, press 2. For all o...
by malrap
Wed May 23, 2007 11:21 am
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: My Ant Farm
Replies: 185
Views: 25211

The last paragraph,in this from today on the BBC internet site

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6681793.stm
by malrap
Sun Apr 01, 2007 9:36 am
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: THE 15
Replies: 26
Views: 4694

After serving 24 years in the Armed Forces,let me assure you,that for all the re-organisation that the our dwindling Forces have been subject to from both Conservative and Labour Governments,we are still the best in the world.The main reason for that is because of the discipline that they show 24/7,...
by malrap
Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:21 am
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: Old wise Sayings
Replies: 74
Views: 10729

Marriage is not to someone you want to live with...but to someone you can't live without.

The future tense of 'courting' is 'caught'
by malrap
Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:05 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: The latest car tax.
Replies: 30
Views: 3720

The latest car tax.

I don't know what good it will do really as governments don't (it seems) really listen to the people after elections. However, after reading the following you may like to sign the e-petition. When this rule comes into force, I'll seriously consider abandoning car ownership. Although, I am supportive...
by malrap
Fri Aug 11, 2006 9:43 am
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: The latest diet from Oz
Replies: 3
Views: 833

The latest diet from Oz

As ridiculous as it sounds the diet involves eating dog food. The sad part of the thing is that it apparently works. Regardless of what dog food your country produces it's usually comprised of a high protein and high fibre combination (just the job for Rover, Mikey, Amadeus or whatever dumb name you...
by malrap
Thu Jun 29, 2006 9:02 am
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: coppers and josef stalin in shields
Replies: 18
Views: 2250

War doesn't determine who is right,but only who is left.
by malrap
Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:22 am
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: The Squirrel and the Grasshopper.
Replies: 5
Views: 1029

The Squirrel and the Grasshopper.

REST OF THE WORLD VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The s...
by malrap
Fri Jun 09, 2006 8:24 am
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: The way we see things!!
Replies: 1
Views: 490

The way we see things!!

WOMAN'S DIARY: Saturday 29th April 2006. Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk. He was sti...
by malrap
Mon May 29, 2006 7:38 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: nok--nok........who thu hell iz it........
Replies: 7
Views: 1107

Suleman has got the phones in his bag....is this a house call??
by malrap
Mon May 29, 2006 7:37 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: they`re after me.............
Replies: 8
Views: 976

He's seen the prices of Sulemans phones!!
by malrap
Thu May 18, 2006 8:19 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: TARRA LUV.............
Replies: 27
Views: 2698

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills- McCartney. Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped&...
by malrap
Fri Mar 10, 2006 2:22 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: moo
Replies: 12
Views: 1298

CJ..She 'thored' the cows out from being frozen,and the collective name for a lot of cows....'Hird'''
by malrap
Thu Mar 09, 2006 9:29 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: moo
Replies: 12
Views: 1298

The Coffin 'joke',and now this!!!!!! Jimmy must be winding us up..is he going to write an e-book of the Worlds worst jokes,so he can make his fortune on Ebay...has his identity been taken over?????? and these stories have not originated from him??? Does he need help from Board Members to overcome th...
by malrap
Tue Feb 21, 2006 11:55 am
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: Worth a titter,on a Monday !!!
Replies: 8
Views: 891

Must be better than Jimmy's coffin story!
by malrap
Mon Feb 20, 2006 10:13 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: Worth a titter,on a Monday !!!
Replies: 8
Views: 891

Worth a titter,on a Monday !!!

A young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever physical examination. After checking all of her vitals and running the usual tests, the doctor said,"Well,Running Doe,you are in fine health,and although I could find nothing wrong generally,I did notice one abnormality,however&q...
by malrap
Sat Feb 11, 2006 9:39 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: chi spiritualist church
Replies: 7
Views: 2016

I told them I wanted a 'medium'steak!!followed by a chorus of"knock three times on the celing if you want me,twice on the pipe if the answer is noooooo' etc etc
by malrap
Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:15 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: Tall Story..............Or is it?
Replies: 7
Views: 837

Remind me...
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode the trail,
Catching outlaws and putting them in jail,
The Lone Ranger shot Tonto..now it seems.
He found out what Kemo Sabay means...
by malrap
Mon Jan 16, 2006 10:43 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: HI-LIFE ENTERTAINMENT AGENCY - SOUTH SHIELDS TOWN CENTRE!!!
Replies: 3
Views: 811

AND,wants people in their 60's,who have something to do with pesents??or is that peasants??
by malrap
Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:59 pm
Forum: South Shields General Notice Board
Topic: it happens every xmas
Replies: 13
Views: 1504

Oh Samara,what a song...I can feel myself filling up...
'The tears of a clown..that has no hope.
Good song as well